Archetypes and Dating

Do archetypes play into dating? Heck yes!

Dating Survival Guides Part 4: Check Yo Self

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Dating Survival Guides Part 4: Check Yo Self

Ever get super annoyed about a date’s habit of eating loudly, or feel uncomfortable because they have a super hot ex?  It can be oh so easy to extrapolate small things into relationship-stopping catastrophes even when other aspects of the situation are great.  When your list of deal breaking items gets longer than five, the Saboteur is lurking in your psyche and things are about to get messy. This archetypal dating guide has a reputation as ‘the Ninja’ because it has a way of being subtle and lethal before you know what hit you.  I’m referring to the archetype of...

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Heart Break Through

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Heart Break Through

Heartbreak is a term most often associated with the unfortunate end of a romantic relationship.  It’s also a pervasive pattern that intersects every single human life everywhere.  When we hear a friend say, “My heart is broken,” we can relate in an instant without their details.  Heartbreak is an archetype that enters our lives on more than one occasion and under differing circumstances but it is not a pattern that organizes a life in the same way that, for example, the Mother does.   We don’t meet someone think they were definitely born to for heartbreak.  What drives...

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Dating Survival Guides Part 3: Safety vs. Strength

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Dating Survival Guides Part 3: Safety vs. Strength

If dating seems like an ordeal, you are not alone.  I’ve heard many versions of  “I’m not dating because it sucks”  from all sorts of people; gay, straight, men and women of all ages.  I’ve expressed that sentiment myself more than a few times, but I also know that it doesn’t HAVE to be that way.  Each of the archetypal guides in this series can help illuminate why dating can be difficult and how we can experience the process in a more grounded, wholehearted way. This next archetypal guide is a biggie – it’s probably the main reason dating can be...

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Dating Survival Guides Part 2: You Are Enough

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Dating Survival Guides Part 2: You Are Enough

They say to always lead with your strength. I’m going to lead with one of my weaknesses – sometimes I feel like I’m not enough. Not smart enough, pretty enough, rich enough, thin enough etc. Basically, take any positive quality and put ‘not’ in front and ‘enough’ behind it and I can, at some point, feel that this is so. It’s a type of nefarious self-judgement that most people can identify with and it can make dating un-fun and stressful. These self-judgements can take over and have us thinking that inadequacy is the only possible reason why we...

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Meet Your Dating Survival Guides

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Meet Your Dating Survival Guides

Dating can feel like a trip to the amusement park, filled with excitement, ups, downs and the occasional sense of inertia. Certain archetypes can help serve as guides for keeping grounded while amidst the thrills and spills of dating life. So far I’ve written about archetypal attraction based on shared patterns, paired needs and romantic chemistry. Now it’s time to dig into some of the archetypal characters that will likely show up for everyone dating. They also can play into why some people don’t even dip their toe into the dating pool. I call these our Survival Archetypes....

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Archetype attraction pt 3: Shared Archetypes

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Archetype attraction pt 3: Shared Archetypes

In part 2 of this series, I wrote about the ways of Romantic Archetypal Attraction where people are drawn together by the complimentary needs and attributes of their archetypes.   Equally important is the kind of an attraction to someone because of shared qualities.  If you are interested in seeing how archetypes can help you select better dates, then taking a look at how Shared Archetypal Attraction works will help. Meeting someone with one or more of the same archetypes can mean near instant bonding as well as  attraction. I think of this as a kind of friend chemistry, which when it...

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Romantic Chemistry: The Knight and the Damsel

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Romantic Chemistry: The Knight and the Damsel

The next in the series about Archetypal Attraction and Romantic Chemistry The Knight and the Damsel are a matched set of patterns with naturally occurring complimentary attributes and dysfunctions. This can be true of any couple with these archetypes no matter their gender, same, different or otherwise. While we think of the Knight as a man and the Damsel a woman, that’s not always the case. I’m going to go the traditional route here but keep an open mind that the archetypes are not necessarily gender specific. The painting to the right is an eloquent image of the romantic...

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Archetype attraction part 2: Romantic Chemistry

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Archetype attraction part 2: Romantic Chemistry

Read Archetype attraction part 1: The Basics Romantic Archetypal Chemistry is based on complimentary needs.  Typically it’s either an archetype we value or one that reflects qualities we want to see in ourselves.  This is the kind of attraction we usually think of in terms of romance and dating.   You know, that subtle “the puzzle pieces just fit together” kind of attraction.  That’s great right?  Who doesn’t like feeling that way?  Of course there are some pitfalls to Romantic Archetypal Chemistry because the ingrained traits and their shadowy bits can...

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Archetype attraction part 1: The Basics

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Archetype attraction part 1: The Basics

We are attracted to people by archetypal patterns.  For most people it can be so subtle that you don’t know what’s going on, but paying attention to these powerful patterns can really improve your dating experience.  I mean, wouldn’t you want something to help guide you through the sometimes dark and murky forest of dating life and toward what you are really looking for? No need to take tests, get astrological information, blood type or genealogy, just pay attention, suss out the patterns and go from there.  In this series I’m going to break archetypal attraction...

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Archetypes and Dating 101

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Archetypes and Dating 101

I was at a gathering recently and mentioned that I was thinking of writing about archetypes and dating. Heads swiveled, glasses stopped clinking and I had the feeling that I was in some sort of TV commercial with all eyes on me.  Everyone wanted to know more and where they could go to read up on my insights.  The response, beyond being kinda funny, has been pretty much the same for everyone I’ve floated the idea out to.  It’s a fascinating topic and with that kind of response, how could refuse? Do archetypes play a part in dating?  Oh indeed they do!  In fact dating might be...

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